Joaquin Torres (lordvader@cfl.rr.com)
Thu, 22 Mar 2001 16:58:33 -0500


Okey dokey...go ahead and make your suggested changes and run it! Muchos gracias
for the compliments. Gotta get ready for martial arts class.

J

Matthew Arnold wrote:

> On Sun, 18 Mar 2001 00:11:19 -0500, you wrote:
>
> >Hey!
> >
> >I ain't done, but I'm sending this to you to show that I *am* working on
> >this durn thing. I think I'm almost done with this first draft. Let me
> >know what ya think so far.
>
> Looks pretty good to me, just a couple minor notes.
>
> >Your other special ability is disarming the detpacks of enemy
> >Demomen. This can be a tad dangerous, as the timer for the detpack is
> >usually set for only 5 seconds. If you don't get to the detpack in
> >time, it'll blow, sending you flying through the air in several dozen
> >pieces. If you happen to be right next to an enemy Demoman as he's
> >laying a detpack, feel free to run over the detpack, disarming it and
> >robbing the Demoman of his only detpack.
>
> You say "detpack" three times in this sentence. Maybe change the second one to
> "it" and the third to "the only one he has".
>
> >How to Play:
> >As the fastest class in the game, you'll be playing offense, which means
> >you're the flag runner. It will be your job to run into the enemy base,
> >bob and weave through their defense, grab their flag, and hightail it
> >outta there to the cap point. Being the weakest class in the game, with
> >little to speak of for armament, it is usually an extremely bad idea to
> >get into a firefight with the enemy.
>
> It's not usually good to start a sentence with "being". Maybe something like
> "Since it is" or "Because it is".
>
> In general I find your writing style fun to read and it makes me want to play
> TFC or whatever class you are talking about. That's always A Good Thing.
>
> Matt
>
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