Penguin21512@aol.com
Mon, 12 Mar 2001 22:59:02 EST


 

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How to Maintain Healthy Levels of Insanity
>
> 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
>  point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
>
> 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
>
>  3) Insist that your e mail address is:
>       Xena-Warrior-Princess@OCDSB.edu.on.ca
>        Elvis-the-King@OCDSB.edu.on.ca
>
>  4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
>  want fries with that.
>
>  5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
>
>  6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
>
>  7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone
>  has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
>
>  8) In the memo field of all your cheques, write "FOR SEXUAL
>  FAVOURS".
>
>  9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the
>  prophecy."
>
>  10) Dont use any punctuation
>
>  11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
>
>  12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
>   answer.
>
>  13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
>
>  14) Sing along at the opera.
>
>  15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>
>  16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of
>  jungle sounds all day.
>
>  17) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
>  their party because you're not in the mood.
>
>  18) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
>  Rock Hard.
>
> 19) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I
>  Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
>
>  20) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking
>  lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
>
> 21) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are
>   going to have to let one of you go."
>
>  And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
>
>  22) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if
>  they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like
>  this.



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