Andrew Dynon (
Fri, 19 Jan 2001 08:49:27 +1100

>* Zeon Daikun assassinated by lone gunman during
>motorcade; Warren Commission immediately clears Zabi
>clan as suspects; conspiracy Web site authors given
>new material
>* Minovsky reactor will bring "new age of peace to
>* Aborigine shaman harrassed by local EFF troops, puts
>curse on Sydney
>* Colony air pollution: Was bringing internal
>combustion engine to space a bad idea?
>* WAR! Opening days' death toll exceeds entire human
>* EFF condemns Zeon use of new "mobile suit" weapon as
>* Australian aborigines surrender to Zeon Duchy
>following destruction of Sydney
Melburnians say "Good on ya!"

>* Revil escapes Zeon captivity, declares "Damn, I'm
>exhausted! Gimme something to eat!"; dies by choking
>on ribeye bone after winning truckstop's 72oz steak
>* George S. Patton, John Wayne re-animated by Fed
>scientists following death of Revil; victory assured!
>* Tsukada loses One Year War merchandising license to
>upstart new "Bandai" company
>* Fed mobile suits finally brought into war! EFF
>warship crew mortality rate drops to 1 in 3
>* Lucasfilm sues EFF over lightsaber technology patent
>* "Terrible Trio" commandos wreak havoc behind enemy
>lines (Katsu, Letsu, Kikka)
>* THEY ARE AMONG US! "Newtypes" can read your every
>thought and secret like a book; privacy activists call
>for registration, regulation by proposed "Psi Corps"
>* White Base crewwoman Sayla Mass raises morale,
>* Zeon/Decepticon alliance spells doom for Feds; will
>Autobots violate own neutrality stance?
>* A Bao A Qu falls! Gihren Zabi declares, "We're
>* One Year War ends after 7 1/2 hour movie trilogy


* Fed Mobile Suits appear before being Made; Time/Space anomaly suspected,
Fed Scientist Data investigates
* Fed Lieutenant accused of sexually harrassing villager (Shiro, Kiki)

>*** 0083 HEADLINES ***
>* Anaheim Electronics moves from pocket radios and
>toasters into military contracting industry, showcases
>new '83 model Gundams
>* Delaz Fleet steals Gundam, nuke, demands story
>rights to "One Year War II: The Sequel"
>* '83 Pulitzer Prize for Physics awarded to Von Braun
>City engineers for artificial gravity system; prize
>may be retracted, system due to fail by '87
>* Gato nukes EFF Naval Review; General Wyatt's last
>words: "Holy Mother of Jesus H. F**king Christ in a
>* Delaz Fleet drops colony on North America; Axis
>leaders say, "Oops!"
>* Judge Judy hears EFF pilot case, sentences Uraki to
>electric chair for whining, contempt of court
>* Class-action sexual harrassment lawsuit filed
>against EFF pilot (Bernard Monsha)

* New "Titans" Task Force to create era of space-wide harmony

>* Newtype cloning technology may help revolutionize
>medicine, oppress Earth Sphere (Plu Two clones)

* Newtype cloning technology bought by NERV organization


* Federation says things are looking up for year 0218

>* Crockett KOs Tyson in 3 seconds! Don King dumps Iron
>Make, becomes Chibodee's new manager
>* Devil Gundam virus "worst childrens' epidemic in
>* Neo-Japan rolls out Another Goddamned Gundam (God
>* "Support Your Local Gundam Fighter" breaks 60C
>billion box-office record; dawn of new "ramen western"
>genre, upcoming "Have Gundam, Will Travel" expected to
>be next big hit
>* Neo-Japan's Kasshu wins 13th Quadrennial Gundam
>Fight with super-secret "blazing pinkie" special
>* Cheezy national stereotypes descend on Earth; 14th
>Quadrennial Gundam Fight begins today!
>* Neo-Irish Gundam Fighter wins 14th Gundam Fight
>after 20-minute brawl in pub!

* Sailor Senshi to sponser Neo-Swedish Gundam Fighter
* Neo-English Gundam Fight hooligans wreak havoc!
* Devil Gundam: "Resistance Is Futile. You will be assimilated."

>* Y.T. Minovsky discovers alternate "After Colony"
>universe where physics don't apply
>* Unsociable youth (Heero) arrested, made death
>threats to fellow students
>* Earth Alliance military overthrown by psychic
>hotline network (OZ)
>* Heero Yuy fails 27th suicide attempt, vows to be
>dead by August
>* Young white girl (Quatre) claims nobility, Arabic
>descent; Louis Farrakhan blasts claims, questions
>girl's identity
>* Heero Yuy sues Relena Darlian for harrassment,
>claims "crazy bitch won't stop following me!"; judge
>issues restraining order against girl
>* "Mobile doll" technology to eliminate human
>suffering in war
>* Relena Darlian gang-raped, beaten by "Total
>Violence" movement activists
>* Relena Darlian made "queen for a day"
>* Earth Sphere Unified Nation ratifies constitution,
>disarms; military contractor stocks drop like a rock
>* Newly-disarmed Earth now helpless before might of
>Empire's "Death Star"; citizens ask, "Where are the
>Gundams when we need them?"
>* Dorothy Catalona says, "Let's give peace a chance!"
>* President/Vice-Foreign Minister sex scandal!
>Clinton: "I did not have sexual relations with that
>woman, Miss Darlian."
>* WE ARE NOT GAY! "G-Boys" to put rumors to rest with
>late-night, adult channel pay-per-view heterosexual
>fornicating special
>* Popularity of crime-fighting Preventers agency hits
>Hollywood; Yuy, Maxwell, Barton, Winner, and Chang to
>star in "G-Boys Forever" film

* Middle East Peace Process Stalled Again; Maganac Fighters attack Israel
OZ Base
* Relena's song ends war; World Nation and White Fang to co-habitate on
Earth; Movie, "Gundam: Do You Remember Love?" Proposed
* New Look For Gundams; Top Mobile Suit Fashion Designer Hajime Katoki sets
* New "G-Boys" Band to record first single during MS combat; "They're
stealing my idea!" - Basara Nekki

>* Non-mutated ant found! Cratered and
>radiation-polluted "After War" Earth beginning road to
>* Long-lost "Gundam X" mobile suit found! Landship
>captain (Jamil) declares, "I see a bad moon rising."
>* Movie studio rents Gundam Airmaster for use in next
>John Woo/Chow Yun-Fat flick
>* Deep Thought computer declares Newtypes "one big

New "Gundam X" Mobile Suit to end threat of colony drops forever

>* Industrialist Gwen Sard Lineford re-discovers
>electricity, advances backward state of Earth industry
>by 200 years
>* Primitive savages discovered performing pagan
>sacrifices to "White Doll" god
>* Earth invaded by hippies from Moon! (Cancer Kafka,
>Muron Muron)
>* Queen Diana Soleil, Kihel Heim each signs 20C
>million contract to star in Disney's "Parent Trap
>* Colony Post fires photographer (Fran Doll) following
>pornography scandal

* Turn-A to start new "mustache" MS fashion trend

>* Top rapper in Earth Sphere is WHITE! Char calls
>Zechs a "poser" in new "I'm the Real Red Comet" hit
>* Char/Zechs rivalry reaches fever pitch; pair to face
>off on "Celebrity Deathmatch"

* Mobile Suit Fashion Meets Personal Fashion; New "MS Girls" outfit line a
Andrew Dynon

Watt-Evans' Law of Literary Creation: There is no idea so stupid or
hackneyed that a sufficiently-talented writer can't get a good story out of

Feist's Corollary: There is no idea so brilliant or original that a
sufficiently-untalented writer can't screw it up.

Morrison's Corollary: There is no idea that a sufficiently-talented writer
has made into a good story that can't become annoying in the sequels.

Holliday's Corollary: There is no plot so stunningly original that a
journalist can't make it sound hackneyed.

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