Edward Ju (gundam@loop.com)
Tue, 11 Jul 2000 21:54:36 -0700

>Would you three mind if I stole these for the new Gundam Humor Page on Mecha
>Domain? I need to start a new "Tacky Gundam Jokes" section. :P Let me
>know, thanks in advance!
>-Burke "Burkenator" Rukes

Go right ahead... here's some more for good measure, grab the ones you like:

- How many Zakus does it take to gas a colony?
  I dunno. How many burritos did they eat?

- How come there are no Hellos in Char's Counterattack?
  What are you talking about, Char stuck one in the head of his Sazabi!

- Why wasn't Crossbone Gundam animated?
  Can't afford to get mistaken with Gundam X

- What do you call a Bigzam whose legs are shot off?
  An Azzam

- What if Microsoft runs Anaheim Electronics?
  What do you mean, "if"?

- What was the last thing Lalah said to Amuro before she died?
  "If I have never met you then your awful haircut would have never
   registered to distract me in battle!"

- Why does Krishia wear that mask?
  She's doing the Single White Female thing on Char

- What if Char was raised by the mob?
  He'd order hits on the Zabis instead of getting his own hands dirty, but
  Sayla still gets that briefcase of gold

- Why did Char adopt the name "Quattro Vagina"?
  Nothing says "I am unavailable" more than a surname like that! Really
  makes potential mates think twice about their married name

- Why wasn't there a TV series sequel to ZZ Gundam?
  People were ready to doze off by then.

- How did Dozul get the scars on his face?
  Did you notice what he's wearing on his shoulders? Duh!

- How did they manage to scale down the mobile suits since UC 0123?
  By getting rid of the Minovsky toilet under the cockpit. Bonus: guess
  what powers the new "beam shield"!

- Who designed the Gouf?
  Giren's personal dominatrix

- Why did the Zeons develop amphibious mobile suits?
  Because spacenoids can't swim, dammit!

- Did you hear about how the Feds screwed up with the RX-78?
  You mean they made it humanoid and nothing on it resembles a dam?

- Zeon grunt A: What was the standard squad formation for the Feds?
  Zeon grunt B: One GM, two Balls
  Zeon grunt C: You're not a real man if you score kills on Ball-less GMs

- Why was the Gyan axed in favor of Gelgoog?
  Its skirt armor exposed its weakness

Some non-UC ones:

- Why does the Turn-A Gundam has a mustache instead of a V fin?
  Y2K bug in its nano-tech repair system

- Why was Duo all beat up?
  He tried Heero's pickup line on Hilde

- Why did Sunrise axe Gundam X?
  They saw the next Gundam upgrade and decided the show is no longer
  suitable for kids


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