Tue, 25 May 1999 08:03:21 EDT

In a message dated 5/24/99 4:01:29 PM Central Daylight Time, writes:

 It has taken "Return of the Jedi"'s place as weakest movie of the series.
 The movie suffered greatly by being overtly geared towards kids. No one
 on this list, no one over 12 years old can tell me he liked Jar Jar's
 obvious, worthless dialog. That is, in those rare moments when you could
 understand what the hell he was saying. Anakin's child friends where, as
 a group, the worst actors and also totally useless to the movie. Too much
 of it was only there for children. This is counter to the other three
 movies. I'll tell you what I loved and hated about "Phantom Menace".
 1) the saber battles. Should have been one more with either just the two
 knights and somebody else or maybe Maul and some other Jedi or something
 but that was *thee* highpoint of the whole movie for me. I will see it
 again strictly for that.
 2) the cg. The planets were beautiful, the battle droid landing craft in
 the jungle shots, the comps, the sea creatures, they were all amazing. I
 loved the sleek ships, too, the designs of the structures, all of it.
 3) the pod race. It was a little long but the idea was cool, I liked the
 different racers. The landscape was beautiful, too.
 4) the design of the underwater city. That was a cool concept that was not
 used well at all but still was new and different.
 5) watching true Jedis at work. No fear, no panic, they were young and
 agile. I thought Jinn's burning through those armored doors with his light
 saber was great. I loved how fast they could run and how they could jump
 high and shove things away effortlessly.
 6) most of the actors. McGregor was great, Neeson was the best true actor
 in the whole bunch, Portman was good, etc. The kid was ok so long as he
 wasn't in a cockpit. Then he turned into a comic book character telling us
 what he was about to do.
 7) Darth Maul. That fucker was *on*, all the time. I liked him as much
 as when I first saw Vader.
 8) Natalie Portman. Wow! All this talk about Catherine Zeta-Jones in the
 entertainment media, they should be staring at Portman instead. Jones has
 got nothing on her.
 1) Jar Jar Binks. His animation, his face, that irritating voice, his dumb
 down obvious dialog, everything. Anybody that clumsy would have died by now,
 just out of pure random bad luck. He was also useless. He provided nothing.
 2) the two-headed race announcer. One thing that the first three movies
 had was a feeling that they happened somewhere else, another galaxy and
 another time. With lines like "In any universe, that's gotta hurt," I
 was back on Earth, I didn't feel like I was watching a story placed anywhere
 other than Earth. And his physical design sucked ass.
 3) the idiotic Braveheart decoy battle. That was the most strategically
 worthless battle possible. What army would employ Napoleonic tactics when
 they have tanks, energy weapons, ships, etc? I was hoping, so hoping, for
 an intelligent fight. A fight underwater. The water aliens should have
 drawn the robot army down where they'd have the advantage. Water is their
 element, they have submarine pods, there'd be plenty of opportunities to
 use those massive sea creatures as traps, etc. And it would have still
 served the plot. Better, by far, than what we got. Episodes 4, 5 and 6
 did not have tactically idiotic fights. And even if the battle droids
 are programmed to fight like that, what where those aliens doing in an
 open field when they had jungles and oceans to provide cover?
 4) the supposed "battle" droids. Cute, yes. Intimidating, no. I liked
 the rolling transforming droids but the ones with the cartoony faces and
 the "roger roger" kiddy dialog would have had their asses handed to them
 by any 20th century Earth army, and that's without energy weapons. Jesus,
 why not just hand C3P0 a weapon?
 Episodes 2 and 3 better really make up for this kiddy crap. All in all I
 liked the movie but this is the first time since the Ewoks and the Sy
 Snoodles band that I have really noticed how stupid certain parts of the
 series are. Thank god for Darth Maul.
First off, see it again and just accept that Jar Jar is going to be there and
eventually you can ignore his irratating characteristics. Also Anakin is a
fucking kid man what do you want a mega intelligent midget? He acted like a
kid would behind the controls of a star fighter. As for the ground battle,
they for one weren't there to totallly beat the droids, only to get them away
from the city. I don't think they expected to win the war on that
battlefield. I agree that the announcer was kinda dumb but He didn't bother
me once I just accepted the fact that he was going to be there. The first
time I saw it I'm sure I had similar feelings to you. But BELIEVE ME when I
saw it the second time, I thought it was awesome. Try seeing it again and
letting go your views on what it should be and just let George show you his,
because it actually is better then it seems.

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