Re: Gundam Project: 0083 Synopsis


dyar@halcyon.com
Fri, 11 Dec 1998 19:59:36 -0800


At 02:48 12/11/98 -0800, you wrote:
> I think you all know the story. Any suggestions for clarifications or
>cuts (at 2000 words, it's on the flabby side) would be ace. Thanks!
>The Federation assault carrier Albion arrives at the Torrington test
>base, near the shore of the immense impact crater known as the Gulf of
>Sydney.

I've always seen this translated as "Sydney Sea" and, while "gulf" is
probably a more accurate description, I think the alliteration works better.

>suit been armed than former Zeon ace Anavel Gato, smuggled aboard the

Since you've already introduced Gato as the "Nightmare of Solomon" in the
opening paragraph, you can lose the "former Zeon ace" and even the "Anavel"
here.

>rebuilding the vintage mobile armor Val Varo for the Delaz Fleet. He

Fpr what it's worth, Gundam Mechanics II calls it the "Wal-Walo"....

>The Critical Intercept Point

I know that this is the literal translation, but I still prefer "Point of
No Return" (which was actually used in the Viz Comics translation).

>at Jaburo

This appears in English on-screen as "Jabrow" -- you might want to use that
spelling for consistency.

-Z-



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